Bereavement of the Kinship
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Luigi and an old friend must part ways


"What have you there, Yoshi?" asked Luigi with a face of nose-having glee.

Yoshi looked up at the green plumber and gave him a deadly glare. He then revealed his atrotious weapon. "It is a knife!"

The Toads amongst the crow's nest (they were on a pirate ship, ya hooligan) cried in horror and rained down their Hershey's all upon the Mushroom Kingdom.

Luigi tilted his nose manually. "This ain't a sign of decent heroism, dino-boy…" snorted the righteous fellow. He flexed and his abs got beefier, his pecs more massive, and his biceps more delectable than ever before, baby.

"You attempt to sort out my appeal for chaos?" laughed Yoshi.

"Me and my glorious wings will lariat you into the end times, you warlock…" Luigi growled. He then charged Yoshi and seized his destructive tongue. He then pulled out some hot sauce.

"Not so fast, Luigi!" cried Yoshi. "I activate my trap!" Yoshi then detached the tongue because… it was a novelty toy in actuality.

"Cursed…" grumbled Luigi and then he drank of the hot sauce, causing his quads to get quadier.

Yoshi raised an eyebrow in satisfaction of the challenge. "I will be world-renown as a killer of justice!"

"In your dreams, tookwipe!" snarled Luigi and then he summoned Lugia. He rode atop it and shot electric missiles from the twin cannons mounted to his firm shoulders.

Yoshi dodged the attack and followed up with a very evil smirk. The smirk was so strong that it summoned Zekrom. Now Yoshi had the power of lightning on his side as well.

"Please save us, valiant Green Mario," said Toadsworth as he wrote his last words tearfully into his journal.

But guess what happened next, homie! Yeah, that's correctamundo! Boshi showed up with a corn cob. He shoved it into Lugia's mouth and Lugia thought of the delicious tastes of corn. Lugia denied Lugia's authorization to fly and started dating Scarlet Witch.

Vision saw this online and gasped in a very robotic manner. He rushed over to Luigi's side and demanded information. Luigi pointed to Yoshi, Boshi, and Zekrom. "They have devised this wicked plan, brother…" Luigi said with charisma that shined brighter than the sun.

"I am distressed…" said Vision. He then got into his Volkswagen and flew back to Mexico. That's because it was already Cinco de Mayo, suckah!

Boshi looked down at his gruesome, hideous toes and begged the question. "Yoshi, why are we still here? Just to suffer?"

Yoshi rolled his tongue, then he rolled his tongue. It was really gross. He then lifted his fist and punched Boshi so hard that Boshi exploded into ten more Boshis.

Luigi gasped and then thought about world peace and pretzels.

"Luigi, are you thinking about world peace and pretzels?" asked Yoshi cockily. Holy buttz, the man could read minds!

Luigi snarled again and then powered up his famous mustache with a brand new breed of mushroom: the Warrior's Toadstool.

Yoshi was surprised. The Warrior's Toadstool was a sacred relic that only ten people knew about. It was presumed lost forever because nobody in Mushroom Kingdom knows how to stinkin' spell 'nomenclature'.

"What is this?" asked Yoshi to the ten Boshis. "Is this a maddening plea of sanctimonious frivolity?"

Zekrom nodded. "Yoshi, it is because of Luigi's wicked abs," it said with the ideals of balance in Unova.

"Big deal," said Yoshi as he grew his own abs via exercising on his brand new tongue Bowflex.

Luigi was in a challenging situation now. He arrived at Yoshi's face, tore off his own nose and smacked Yoshi's entire being with it. Even Yoshi's soul felt the ludicrous might of Luigi's cataclysmic nose prowess.

"How do you feel, madman?" asked Luigi with eyes of holy integrity.

"I feel like more malevolence is right around the corner, knave," Yoshi grinned with tremendous criminal brain cells.

"That's what I thought…" Luigi said sternly as he absorbed Yoshi into his nasal pathways like a Pokeball. Luigi taught him and I'll teach you.

"LOO-EE-JEE!"

Luigi turned around. There was his brother Mario, quickly approaching whilst riding atop a Koopa shell. "What say you, brother?" asked the green one.

Mario was so happy Luigi was a master of heroes and muscles. He gave him a free ice cream and then Luigi gave said ice cream to the Boshis. "Take and eat, young ones. You have a harrowing day ahead of ye."

The Boshis nodded in unison and then began entering the dairy product into their dinosaur digestive systems.

"What do we do about their toes though?" asked Mario.

Luigi sighed. "I know many a thing, Mario. However…" he began to weep into the crook of his elbow with gracious manly sobs. "I do not possess infinite knowledge…"

**THE END**

**Vision will return in "Vision Finds Peace"**

**Boshi will not return**


End file.
